its a good thing im not alone tonight

because realistically here, i would probably try to kill myself. i mean hey, seems like my best bet right now

first time i've been disinterested in sex

very strange. i didn't want to have sex. which sometimes happens when im upset, but then its that i want to not have sex. last night, i just didnt feel like it. no reason beyond that. and the sex was great - i just couldn't get into it. very weird.